Versprediings

Starstuff

The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.

 - Carl Sagan, Cosmos

http://www.sciencealert.com/this-awesome-periodic-table-shows-the-origins-of-every-atom-in-your-body

#lekker #afrikaans Arrie Warrie

Wok wok wok wok ...

Haal rustig, maar diep asem en staar na hierdie prent...

Internet, circa 1973

http://www.sciencealert.com/old-nasa-papers-have-revealed-a-map-of-the-entire-internet-from-1973

If you are taller than your mum, you can call her minimum

Groen Tee en goeie ou Mnr Boontjie

The electric light did not come from the continuous improvement of candles - Oren Harari

Gravity is an emergent phenomenon that arises from the entropy of the Universe - Erik Verlinde

Die Periodieke Tabel

Droom groot, maar begin...

Beloftes

These are three of the biggest problems facing today's AI

These are three of the biggest problems facing today's AI (From https://goo.gl/6wk4mf):
1. First you get the data, then you get the AI
2. Specialization is for insects — AI needs to be able to multitask
3. It's only real intelligence if you can show your working

Ons nuwe tuinier se naam is Abel, van nou af is ons sommige dae enabled en ander disabled.

Ons nuwe tuinier se naam is Abel, van nou af is ons sommige dae enabled en ander disabled.

Conquer Asia one tribe at a time - Genghis.

Why is the mushroom always happy? He is a fun guy.

One strategist’s STEEPLE is another’s PESTLE, it is a matter if you want to jump fences or grind stuff

Ingenieurswese

Projek Bestuurders ....

Chuck Norris and gmail

#lekker #afrikaans Kaalgat

#lekker #afrikaans Beesblaas

#lekker #afrikaans Kierangkies

#lekker #afrikaans Daarsy

#lekker #afrikaans Ander dam se eende

#lekker #afrikaans Soebat

#lekker #afrikaans Kotteljons

Jannie en sy foto

Jannie is in die Army. Een dag besluit die manne om bietjie te gaan swem, dis baie warm. Hulle is mos net 'n klomp manne, hulle swem sommer sonder klere. Iemand pluk 'n kamera uit en neem 'n paar fotos. Jannie se foto kom nogals goed uit en hy besluit om 'n foto vir sy ouma te stuur. Maar hy wil ook een vir sy meisie stuur. Nou hoe gemaak? Hy het net een foto. Jannie beraam 'n slim plan en sny die foto in twee. Die boonste deel pos hy aan sy meisie en die onderste deel vir sy ouma. Ouma kry uiteindelik die foto deur die pos, en dink by haar self nadat sy aandagtig die foto bekyk het, ''Nes Jannie is, sy hare is altyd deurmekaar en sy das hang skeef!''

Wat interessant is van hierdie ou klassieke grappie is dat my Pa dit altyd vir my vertel het as jong laaitie. Nou die oggend vertel ek dit vir Franko tydens brekvis voor skool. Daai selle middag vertel Barney Simon dit op Jakaranda FM terwyl Bella met die kinders van die skool af huis toe ry! Wat is die kans vir so toevalligheid?

Shared from Google Keep

System Engineers...

Non-System Engineers are all Loosely Coupled Abstractions

Blushing Tomato

Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing...

Cats & Dogs

How do you know when it's raining cats and dogs? When you stepped into a poodle... Anrich alerted us to this one ;-)

Public cell phone talking...

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his train seat and closed his eyes. A young woman sat down next to him, and, as the train rolled out of the station, pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice, "Hi sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train." "Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting." "No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss." "No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life." "Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!" Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly. The man sitting next to her had now had enough. He leaned over and said into the phone, "Sue, get off the damn phone and come back to bed." Sue no longer uses her cell phone in public

Public cell phone talking...

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his train seat and closed his eyes. A young woman sat down next to him, and, as the train rolled out of the station, pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice, "Hi sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train." "Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting." "No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss." "No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life." "Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!" Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly. The man sitting next to her had now had enough. He leaned over and said into the phone, "Sue, get off the damn phone and come back to bed." Sue no longer uses her cell phone in public

Dilbert en Ruimtehysbakke...

Wally en Tazers...

So bietjie militere humor...

Van my goeie vriend Jan af.

Some good military humor


'If the enemy is in range, so are you.'
- Infantry Journal-

 'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.'
- US Air Force Manual -

 'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'
- General MacArthur -

 'Tracers work both ways.'
 - Army Ordnance Manual-

 'Five second fuses last about three seconds.'
- Infantry Journal -

 'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'
- Naval Ops Manual -

 'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.'
 - Unknown Infantry Recruit-

 'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up to him.'
- Infantry Journal-

 'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil.  For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.'
 - Sign over SR71 Wing Ops-

 'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'
  Paul F. Crickmore

 'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'
 -Unknown Author-

 'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'
- Fixed Wing Pilot-

 'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'
  -Multi-Engine Training Manual-

 'Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.'
-Unknown Author-

 'If you hear me yell; "Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echoes.'
If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because by then you'll be the pilot.'
-Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F-104 Pilot-

 'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies.'
-Sign over Control Tower Door-

 'Never trade luck for skill.'
-Author Unknown-

 The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are: 'Did you feel that?' 'What's that noise?' and 'Oh S...!'
-Authors Unknown-

 'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'
-Basic Flight Training Manual-

  'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.'
- Emergency Checklist-

 'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world;  it can just barely kill you.'
- Attributed to Max Stanley ( Northrop test pilot) -

 'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'
-Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB , AZ-

'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.'
- Lead-in Fighter Training Manual -

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft,
having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives.
The rescuer sees the bloodied pilot and asks, 'What happened?'
The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'

Dilbert en kwantum rekenaars...

Bakkies Botha, die Afrikaanse Chuck Norris...

Bakkies Botha is so sterk, hy kan 'n bladsy uit facebook uit skeur Bakkies Botha bel nie die verkeerde nommer nie, jy antwoord die verkeerde foon Bakkies Botha has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life. Bakkies Botha doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it Bakkies Botha can strangle you with a cordless phone. Death once had a near-Bakkies Botha experience Bakkies Botha can slam a revolving door. Bakkies Botha doesn't need a GPS. Bakkies Botha decides where he is. The sheep on Bakkies Botha' farm are the ones that give us steel wool. Bakkies Botha will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. Bakkies Botha can speak Braille. When Bakkies Botha throws a boomerang it doesn't dare come back Bakkies Botha does not fart, nothing escapes Bakkies Botha Some kids pee their name in snow. Bakkies Botha pees his name in concrete. Bakkies Botha can tweet from a pay phone Toe Alexander Graham Bell die foon ontwerp het, was daar 3 missed calls van Bakkies Botha af The Vredefort dome was not created by a meteorite, Bakkies Botha decided to put his foot down Die enigste tyd wat Bakkies rustig raak is as Riaan die nuus lees om 7 Wanneer Bakkies melk op sy rice crispies gooi, bly hulle tjoep stil Die eerste ding wat Bakkies doen wanneer hy by die see aankom, is om twee lengtes te swem

Dilbert on Subject Matter Experts...

Dilbert....

Puik! veral vir ouens wat vir hulle middeljare mik....

Goeie ou Dilbert...

Dilbert op stand-up vergaderings...

Puns for Educated Minds

1.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3.
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15.
The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16.
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17.
A backward poet writes inverse.
18.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19.
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20.
If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine
21.
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
22.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
23.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
25.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
26.
There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Goeie ou Dilbert op Vergaderings

AFRIKAANS UIT DIE BOONSTE GESKIEDENIS - Kinders se vraestel antwoorde, dis nou lekker Afrikaans !!

* Salomo het driehonderd vroue en nog sewehonderd bye-vye gehad. Nie almal van hulle het gesteek nie, maar hy was gelukkig baie slim en het 'n plan uitgewerk.

* Nog 'n belangrike uitvindsel was die bloedsomloop. Dit het verhoed dat jou bloed stilstaan, wat stilstuipe veroorsaak.

* Egipteland was bewoon deur mummies en hulle het almal op hulle hero-gleuwe geskryf en vir hulle pappies gewys. Hulle het in die Sarah-woestyn gewoon en het waterbeurte gehad van die min reën.. Die klimaat was so erg dat al die inwoners op ander plekke gebly het, en net naweke huistoe gekom het om sandkastele te bou. Die boesmans het in hulle tuine gewerk.

* Moses het die Hebreeuse slawe na die Rooi See gelei waar hulle ongesuurde brode gebak het, dit is brood wat sonder enige bestanddele gemaak is en baie soet is van te min suurdeeg. Moses het die berg Sianied uitgeklim om die tien gebooie te kry.

* Die Egiptenare was 'n hoogs gekulde volk en sonder hulle sou ons nie 'n geskiedenis gehad het nie. Hulle het omtrent al die kafees in Egipte gehad. My ma sê hulle het baie mites gehad wat seker in die kombuis gewerk het.

* Demokrates was 'n beroemde Griekse wysheid wat rondgeloop en mense raad gegee het.. Hy is dood omdat hy verskriklik oordosis of so iets. Na sy dood het sy loopbaan dramaties agteruitgegaan.

* In die ou Olimpiese Spele het die Grieke kaal paal gespring, zol geswaai, en disnis gegooi. Hulle was ook lief vir budgie-jump, omdat daar niks anders was om te jump nie.

* Johanna van Arkel het van 'n stapel brandwonde gesterf. Hulle het haar met 'n blaasbalk aan die brand gepomp, tot haar hare afrou geraak het van skrik.

* Koningin Elizabeth was die "Maagdekoningin". As 'n koningin was sy 'n sukses, maar nie as 'n maagd nie. Sy het haar volk se probleme aangetrek. En was altyd mooi geklee.

* Dit was 'n tydperk van groot uitvindsels en ontdekkings. Gutenberg het die wynpers uitgevind. Hy het die slaweklokke gelui deur dit in die wynpers vas te draai dat die wyn spat.

* Die grootste skrywer van die Renaissance was William Shakespeare. Hy is in die jaar 1564 gebore en die geskiedkundige mense dink dit was op sy verjaardag.
Hy het nooit geld gemaak nie, en is net beroemd oor die toneelstukke wat hy geskryf het. Hy het tragedies, komedies en historektomie geskryf. Romeo and Juliet is een voorbeeld.

* Abraham Lincoln het Amerika se grootste presedent geword. Lincoln se ma is dood toe sy nog 'n maagd was en hy is gebore in 'n houthut wat hy met sy eie hande gebou het in die franse evolusie.

* Johann Sebastiaan Bach het baie komposisies geken en het so ook baie kinders gehad. Hy is dood sedert 1750 tot vandag toe. Bach was die beroemdste komponis in die wêreld, amper soos HÃndel. HÃndel was half-Duits, half-Italiaans en half-Engels wat Hollangs gepraat het.

* Beethoven het musiek geskryf al was hy doof. Hy was so doof dat hy harde musiek geskryf het. Hy het ver in die woude gaan loop selfs al het almal na hom geroep. Beethoven het in 1827 opgehou bestaan en dis hoekom hy later dood is. Hy het rooi hare by geboorte gehad toe noem sy ma hom Beethoven. Sy hare het egter na sy eerste bad heelwat verander.

* Die negentiende eeu was 'n tyd van baie uitvindsels. Mense het opgehou om met die hand te reproduseer en met toestelle begin reproduseer.

* Die uitvinding van die stoomboot het 'n netwerk van riviere laat ontstaan, waarna die mense gevlug het as die water te warm raak van die stoom wat afgeblaas word.

* Die Toekoek is 'n voël wat nie haar eie eiers kan lê nie.

* Parallelle lyne ontmoet mekaar nooit nie, tensy jy een of altwee van hulle buig.

* 'n Sirkel is 'n lyn wat sy ander end ontmoet sonder om te end. Daarom is dit moeilik om sy end te kry, voordat jy dronk word.

* Die maan is 'n planeet net soos die aarde. Daar bly net een man wat baie gelukkig is. Een keer 'n jaar raak sy koeie mal en spring oor die maan.

* Vegatiewe voortplanting is 'n proses waarin een individu per ongeluk 'n ander individu vervaardig waarop net die ouma trots is.

* Koolstofmonoksied is 'n reuklose gas wat verskriklik stink.

* Peter Stuyfgestaan is 'n geskiedkundige figuur, want hy het sigarette uitgevind en begin rook. Hy het so baie gerook dat die niekoetien-kolle in sy onderbroek duidelik sigbaar was.

Ai, ek mis hierdie reeks...

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