1. The Law of Common Sense: Never accept a drink from a urologist.
2. The Law of Reality: Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
3. The Law of Self Sacrifice: When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
4. The Law of Volunteering: If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
5. The Law of Avoiding Oversell: When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
6. The Law of Motivation: Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
7. Wailer's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
8. Law of Drunkenness: You can't fall off the floor.
9. Main's Law: For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.
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